Food changes too after the death of a child

I went to lunch with a friend today.  I ordered a granola, and yogurt mixture with bananas, berries, and nuts.  It was super good and yummy and made me happy.  I choose foods that make me happy. This might seem just fine and normal but I want to share why this is my new normal since DJ passed away.

After DJ passed I decided I was going to eat what I wanted and not what was expected of me at restaurants.  I chose chocolate pie and grits at a Village Inn, I ate the fudge with the nuts without the ice cream because in reality, who wants the ice cream anyway? It's just a pathway to get fudge and nuts- I didn't want or need the middleman anymore.  

I don't do this as often anymore.  But why did I do it after DJ passed away?

I did it because I was honoring DJ when I ate my food.  

He loved chocolate, he hoarded chocolate in his bedroom. I had to hide chocolate chips in the vegetable drawer of my refrigerator otherwise he would eat them and then I couldn't make chocolate chip cookies.  So I ate chocolate to honor him. 

He no longer had the option to eat the foods he loved.  He wasn't here anymore to make the weird foods he liked.  He liked to take flour tortilla shells, cut up hotdogs on them, sprinkle it with cheese, and microwave the concoction.  It actually looked disgusting to me but it made him happy.  So I ate nuts and fudge which some people might have thought was weird, but I didn't care and I did it to honor him. 

Some grieving parents will do some things that others may think are weird- but don't judge them.  You probably have no idea why they are doing that, why they pick pie and grits, or why they leave out the ice cream. 

Again, just be kind to those grieving, be kind to everyone, and go out and do good.  

Lisa