GRIEF IS SNEAKY

I am sitting in front of my computer screen wanting to write a blog about surviving the loss of a child.  About my son DJ who was amazing and fun and full of goofiness and laughter and smiles.  I am wanting to write something but I don't know what to write and then it occurred to me- I am losing memories of my boy and that breaks my heart.

It has been almost 18 years since DJ passed away.  I realize that time takes a toll on memories but I am looking around my house and DJ was never in this house so there are no memories of him here.  Our dogs do not know him, he never sat at this kitchen table and had dinner, he never slept in this home.  

This grieves my heart today.  This is throwing me into a tailspin.  I didn't plan to have grief hit me today, I didn't plan on missing DJ so much today because I don't see him here.  I didn't plan on being sad today. Grief can be sneaky, it can come at you from nowhere and "getcha". Like a bad game of tag.

Today, at least this minute, right here, right now sucks.  I miss my boy 18 years later, I miss him today, I miss him now. 

My challenge to grieving parents today- remember that it is okay to still miss our loved ones, it's okay to be sad years later, and don't be surprised if grief sneaks up on you.